Don’t look now, but I’m on HOLIDAY! Yippee! I’m so excited to be forced to take a break, I seriously need it. There’s some big things happening in our family life at the moment and it’s causing me to re-evaluate what’s important, how I spend my time and what I really want out of life. As hard as it is to be going through it, it’s been such a great circuit breaker. I needed a catalyst to make me stop and have a look at what’s going on and whether I am truly doing what makes me happy. The short answer is that yes, I am doing what I love. The long and complicated answer is that while I’m doing what I love I’m going about it in a self-destructive manner.
I work all the time. Like seriously, all the time. I never stop and for awhile there I was happy doing so. I’m not now and haven’t been for awhile. I’ve been rolling from one big project to another and I’ve neglected my family and myself in the process. It’s taken something big to make me give myself permission to stop, re-evaluate and put things in order. I’m not going to stop what I’m doing, I’m just going to pace myself a bit better. I need to make peace with the fact that I have a family, I have a son who needs my attention and is at home and I have a husband who would like to spend time with his wife once-in-awhile. I also only get one crack at this life and I don’t want to exit it prematurely because I’ve let my health slide.
I had big plans for this year and I’ve still got them, they just might not be happening at the pace that I originally planned and that’s ok. It’s my race and I need to stop looking what others are doing and just run the race that’s right for me, my family and my body. I’m going through my life and sorting out the precious from the noise and getting rid of the excess – and I’m doing it for both my personal life and my online life. It’s been really liberating to give myself permission to throw out the things that I was holding on to out of obligation and I wonder why I didn’t do it sooner. I’ve implemented a “no work on the weekends policy” and it’s been great. It was hard at first to just shut the door and walk away, but I’ve found that I’m actually more invigorated and excited about my working week by forcing myself not to keep working.