IN THE POT | COUNTRY CHICKEN SOUP

I find it somewhat ironic that tonight I’m making chicken soup when I feel like I need some chicken soup for the soul.

Today we returned to the (new) Specialist to find out the results of the blood work he ordered 4 weeks ago.  He wanted to check for any clotting disorders, thyroid, vitamin D or chromosomal issues I might have (and any chromosomal ones HUBBY might have).  The day we went for the blood tests I was at the end of my rope.  It was probably one of the worst days I’ve had in a long time as far as emotional upheaval goes.   I was just so past over it it wasn’t funny.  I’d had it with the whole thing.  I was over the medical procedures and I wasn’t convinced that having kids would be the best decision to be making (I’m still not).

HUBBY and I rarely disagree but I was throwing down some mighty fine work in the argument starting area for the week leading up to the tests.  On the day I had even told HUBBY that I wasn’t going to have them done because I wasn’t sure I wanted to go through all of this again.  We talked and I had the tests done. When I got to the pathology lab to have the blood drawn I got Little Miss Wanna-Be-A-Mum.  You could have happily shot me dead.  Seriously.  Of all the people to get I got her.  So not only did I get to give 12 vials of blood to HUBBY’s 1 vial, I also got a lecture on how wonderful children are and how she can’t wait to be a mother.  Needless to say she was very lucky I couldn’t set someone ablaze with just a look.

Fast forward 4 weeks and we’re in the (new) Specialist’s office waiting to be told whether we were chromosomally matched or not.   I hadn’t realised until yesterday when they rang to confirm the appointment just how nervous I was about the results.   I had a gut feeling that it would be ok, but I couldn’t help but feel a little like it would be “just our luck” to find out that we weren’t matched.  Part of me was even hoping for something to be wrong on HUBBY’s side just so he could experience what it’s like to be the one that can’t have children.

Lucky for us my wishing is for naught.  We’re both fine.  There’s nothing wrong with us.  (Apart from bung fallopian tubes.)

I should be over the moon.  Instead I feel so angry and frustrated.  I can’t help feeling like time is getting away from us and I’m tired of being told it’ll just be a numbers game.  Again the (new) Specialist told us that he believes we should get pregnant we just have to keep trying.  “It’s like tossing a coin.  When you want heads sometimes you get 4 tails in a row.”

So now we’re back trying to decide whether to get on the merry-go-round again and I’m trying not to take my anger out on anyone. In the meantime I think these dishes from illustrator Esther Horchner are some what fitting for today’s adventures and meal.

Country Chicken Soup

1kg chicken drumsticks

1 onion

1 carrot

½ parsnip

60g sweet potato

1 stalk celery

2 tablespoons green split peas

2 tablespoons pearl barley

3 cups chicken stock, or water with 1 tablespoon chicken stock powder

white pepper, to taste

1.  Remove as much skin from the chicken as possible.  Peel and chop the onion, carrot, parsnip and sweet potato, and chop the celery.

2.  Place the chicken and vegetables in the slow cooker with teh split peas, barley and stock.  Stir to combine.

3.  Place lid on slow cooker and cook for 4 hours on high.  Add salt and white pepper to taste.

Source: Slow Cooker by Sally Wise